40 dagar

2013-10-2819:48:00
Mitt år i USA
 •  Kommentarer (9)
Idag är jag lite ledsen. 
 
Jag saknar min familj och alla vänner hemma i Sverige, men jag har bara en månad och en vecka kvar här i USA med alla mina vänner och min värdfamilj. 5 veckor. 960 timmar. 

Av alla bloggar som jag läste innan jag åkte iväg som au pair, så var det inte en enda som skrev något om hur jobbigt det var, känslomässigt, att jobba och leva som au pair. Det var inte en enda som skrev om saknaden och beslutsångesten man har. Tankarna snurrar runt 24/7 - ska jag stanna, ska jag åka, tänk om det blir bättre, jag vill åka hem NU, livet är underbart. Det ändras hela tiden.
 
Nu sitter jag här i sängen och funderar på vad jag ska packa ner och vad jag ska lämna kvar, eventuellt slänga. Jag måste provpacka alla mina saker för att se vad för slags väska jag måste köpa. En månad. Om två veckor har jag varit här i USA i ett år. Jag har varit borta i ett helt år. Vart tog tiden vägen? 960 timmar kvar. 
 
Igår såg jag min värdmormor för sista gången på hur länge? jag vet inte. Hon kommer tillbaka 10 dagar efter att jag har åkt. Jag har 4 veckor på mig att göra allt jag vill göra. Jag ska spendera så mycket tid jag bara kan i NYC. New York, hur ska jag ta farväl av NYC?! Min stad. Min kärlek. 
 
Det är tufft. Att åka som au pair är inte lätt. Alla målar upp det som en dans på rosor. 200 dollar i veckan, det är ju skitbra tyckte jag. Nu, njaaee. Jag menar, en nanny får minst 500 dollar i veckan och jobbar inte alls lika tufft som vi au pairer gör. Det är ett riktigt slitjobb! 
 
Nu säger jag inte att du som funderar på att åka som au pair inte ska göra det. Det jag säger är att, förvänta dig inte ett liv på rosa moln där allt är underbart. Du kommer att uppleva irritation till tusen, du kommer vara förbannad på allt och alla, du kommer vara ledsen, du kommer ha hemlängtan. MEN, du kommer även att känna lycka, kärlek och du kommer att tycka att ditt liv är underbart!
 
Många skriver bara om sina bästa dagar i bloggen och skippar dem dagarna där man vill döda någon. Men jag tycker det är viktigt att visa att det finns en dålig sida till allting med. Att man inte målar upp en falsk bild om hur det är. 
 
Att vara au pair är både det bästa och det värsta jag gjort. Jag har fått så många nya vänner, en ny familj, upplevelser för livet, ny kunskap. Men jag har också fått stå ut med hur det är att leva med 3 småbarn och en väldigt upptagen familj. Att bo på jobbet är ingen lek. Ibland blandar man ihop jobbrelationen och relationen man har med familjen - är du min värdförälder nu eller är du min chef? 
 
Om en månad ska jag lämna min underbara värdfamilj och mina värdbarn. Jag vet inte när jag kommer att få se dem igen och det gör så ont. Jag har ju i princip uppfostrat dem. Sara, min bebis, har växt upp med mig. Hur ska detta gå?? 
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Aupairpaulina
En tjej på 21 år från lilla staden Kalmar som nu bor i Rahway, New Jersey, sedan den 12 November, för att arbeta som au pair i 1 år. Jag tar hand om 3 små söta barn som är 3år, 2år och en på 1år.

Kom och följ med mig på mitt livs äventyr!


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